there's this sort of bipartisan challenge to which i must answer to.
A general topic had to be defined and at first we thought about inception - having just seen the movie - but swiftly decided to either write about shampoos or paint dry, both amply less predictable than nolan's populist/clichéd near-mastertale. maybe i'm just being too harsh, or maybe my totem is "inception the movie by christopher nolan", which in reality only spins for the first 20 minutes of explosions but for everyone else seems to spin around fascinating metadreamland for all eternity. maybe i just missed the inception myself - or the kick into the movie's reality. Or maybe it's only that i saw the matrix in 1999.
Why do people like this so much anyway, is this the answer we are looking for? Or even the question? Are we in a dream, is this all a dream? Clearly, no, otherwise benfica would be champion every year and my girlfriend wouldn't have cellulitis at 23 - so let's be reasonable here and concentrate on important stuff for our development as a race i.e. contributing to society by encapsulating our worries into mundane everyday issues. This said, i'm pretttttty sure someone somewhere has/will commit suicide because they themselves believe to have suffered from the inception of the film. and nolan has been/will be sued for involuntary manslaughter, deservedly.
speaking of committing suicide, i think shampoos are of utmost importance to our spiritual balance. As we all know, two of our chakras can be found in and around the application region of a shampoo. Chakras are little flowers we possess in our bodies that serve as interdimensional portals to several kinds of energy. These need to be cared and loved in order to only allow galactic-human transmissions of "good" energies. Chakras, being flowers, thrive on good smells. This is where shampoos come in. They provide these good smells as a consequence of their chemically fine tuned fragrances, which in turn potentiate harmony between the universal and the earthly plane. As a consequence, many known exoworlds , from which we are being monitored through the other (dark) side of the flower, provide us with proto-gifts of success in life, particularly in areas of relationships, finance and sports (order may vary from culture to culture)
The shampoos i like the most are coconut flavored. i sometimes taste the shampoo before applying it to areas of my body where i once had hair in 1999, but coconut i cannot taste since coconut is, after avocado, the fruit with the highest index of fat. Even if it's veggie fat, it still is stored as inane deposits of lard somewhere in your lower torso, which in my case apparently extends all the way to the ass. If i ever die in my life, eat my ass first, you will have bigger chances of surviving yourself as i have been storing valuable nutritional content on it for decades, by sitting on the computer depressed and eating filipinos - now an obsolete product.
i never buy shampoo and often rely on my girlfriend to buy one that i can use. I often use shower gel on my hair. Sometimes, when i am visiting people i use their shampoos without asking and i genuinely believe that either people won't notice or they won't mind. Sorry if you are reading this Pat, and also sorry for the shampoo.
Once i was showering and i accidentally let a bit of shampoo into my left eye. My left eye started getting swollen and red and hurting a lot, because cells were dying from the chemicals on the shampoo. As i took my right hand to my left eye i realized i was no longer pedro but a human representation of the popular pagan organization called freemasonry. In the meantime i was feeling sorry for those deceased left eye cells, much like i felt sorry for my toy cars when they slept alone in the dark, on the cold floor. Often i would tuck inanimate objects into bed with me like apples, lego pieces or rodrigo. Anyways, I thought the only way to save those cells would be to go into the limbo with them. I wasn't really sure if the limbo only worked from the 4th layer of dreaming downwards or not because nolan does not explain it on his popular iBlockbuster "inception". So i went to sleep that night and tried very hard to dream about me dreaming about me dreaming about me dreaming that i was sleeping and then finally kill myself on my 3rd degree dream, taking my totem - the movie inception in divx format - with me all the way to distinguish reality from dream.
So i got to the limbo, my subconscious in it's fundamental freeform state, in which i resemble more a vacuum chamber than a half-intelligent being and i still found the movie inception sucky. In essence, what happened was that the power of suck is so strong in inception that it auto-neutralized it's own power to function as a totem. I had to find a totem within my limbo to function as totem in the death layer. Only by really dying from the limbo state i could understand what was reality or not. So i again chose to use the popular movie by christopher nolan "inception" as a totem because if reality existed, then i would "really" die, and in death inception wouldn't suck anymore, and if reality didn't exist then probably inception had never been made, and being dead would be the next best thing. What confused me was whether "really" die would be valid if reality didn't exist. If reality doesn't exist you can't "really" do anything can you? You're just floating over the logical void and in permanent uncertainty regarding your status. Either way, trivialities apart, i still needed to find my left eye cells. Only then i could proceed on the search for the ultimate truth about dreams inside dreams inside dreams inside dreams inside dreams inside dreams.
I eventually found my left eye cells in a rainforest in surinam, an imaginary country arbitrarily constructed on my subconscious in the mythological continent of south america. During my 5 layer dream-travel, 150 million years had passed on the limbo state and the cells had now stemmed a prehistoric devolution of the homo erectus. I approached the animal and tried to communicate, avoiding contact in order not to scare it. The animal immediately dived into the ground and held on to it's right shin. I could see an inscription on it's back, it was written over a blaugrana background and read "dani alves". A disgusting animal of sorts that surely would feature in freak circuses east and west in our present day 12th century civilization. How to convince this prehistoric vulture completely devoid of rationality that this was not reality but only a subsubsubsub dream layer, a 5th degree consciousness maze that needed to be reverted back to it's origin?
Then it struck me - a fly in the remainder of my left eye -, and it flashbacked dani alves to the time when i was 15 in which a fly flew directly into my left eye in palmitos park in gran canaria. The whole context replay - fly in left eye and rainforest theme park -, made dani alves realize he wasn't really a mero-conscious animal losely branching from the primates tree but in reality just a few dead cells from my left eye, martyrs of a shampoo attack.
I then started hearing a low thumping sound, followed by gradually louder bells, horns and indistinct vocal mumbling, as if a 2 year old was randomly throwing utensils against a cat in some suburban american kitchen. The combination of sounds eventually got unbearable, awkwardly converging into one single screeching sound, the melody of awfulness defined. What was happening was that in the reality layer i had left my playlist running in shuffle, and i had forgotten to delete the animal collective album i downloaded the other day in one more failed attempt at musical ecleticity.
Realizing this, i fell into depression in real life even while in sleep - this is how charming animal collective is. This fall was my "kick", only it wasn't physical, but rather emotional, so instead of waking up in a higher level of my consciousness i woke up as one of my left eye cells reborn. Because my kick was emotional and not physical, i made a physical transition between layers, and not emotional/consciencial.
I am now a unicelular being, i wonder if my totem will still work. We watch inception, it appears to suck, but not so hard as before, mainly because the former me is always blinking and i can't see shit.
Fundamental question: is this real life? Try again, you missed the point.
I am now somewhat happy as a cell, the reality aximoatic is, in reality, irrelevant.
1 comentário:
perdi :/
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