um amigo meu pediu me pra fazer outra piada sobre hemorroidas, isto assim vai-se tornar um blog de merda LOLrageface.jpg lolololo
1. como se diferencia uma hemorroida dum bocado de merda pendurado?
faz-se força pra sair - se der um assobio é a hemorroida
2. o que é que uma hemorroida e um emo têm em comum?
nenhum se consegue distinguir facilmente dum bocado de merda
3. a quem é que uma hemorroida chama pai?
a um frango com piripiri
4. porque é que a hemorroida atravessou a estrada?
porque a galinha comeu um frango com piripiri
5. porque é que a hemorroida não se dá com a galinha?
porque a galinha comeu-lhe o pai
6. o que é que uma galinha com hemorroidas diz a uma galinha normal?
"às vezes nunca consigo decidir se tenho uma hemorroida saída ou um bocado de ovo pendurado"
7. o que é que um canibal com hemorroidas diz ao outro?
"às vezes nunca consigo decidir se tenho uma hemorroida saida ou um dedo dobrado do jantar de ontem"
8. entre uma hemorroida e um bocado de merda, quem seria o Barack Obama?
um bocado de merda, porque tá de saída, e pela cor
9. entre uma hemorroida e um bocado de merda, quem seria Jorge Jesus?
a hemorroida, porque tá a um passo de sair mas vai acabar por ficar, e pela cor
10. o que é que falta à hemorroida para ser como o Jorge Jesus?
o cabelo
11. qual a cidade favorita da hemorroida?
merdrid
12. qual é a cidade favorita da hemorroida em áfrica?
fezes
13. qual a cidade favorita da hemorroida na américa do norte?
bostan
14. qual a cidade favorita da hemorroida na california?
excremento
15. o que é eu tenho em comum com uma hemorroida?
sempre que volto à minha terra natal, tá tudo envolto em merda
16. dois caminhos divergem numa floresta, para qual deles vai a hemorroida?
nenhum, volta pra trás - eventualmente
17. qual é a capital da libéria?
hemorroida
18. como é que um homossexual sabe se foi traído pelo namorado?
verificando a hemorroida de segurança
19. o que é que uma hemorroida tem em comum com um fio dental?
por vezes ambos precisam de ser puxados pró lado
19. como se distingue um aborto duma hemorroida?
o aborto só sangra a partir das 12 semanas
20. qual a diferença entre uma hemorroida e um hímen?
o himen só doi da primeira vez
21. qual é a diferença entre uma hemorroida e o pinto da costa?
o pinto da costa nunca vai desinchar
22. o que é que disse a hemorroida ao parisiense?
odeio bisturios
23. o que é que o homossexual experimentado disse ao outro?
"isso foste tu, ou fui a minha hemorroida a recair?"
24. o que é que o homossexual depravado disse ao outro?
"dobra-a lá pra dentro e é como se fosse double penetration"
25. o que é que a morte da hemorroida e do ayrton senna têm em comum?
ambos morreram porque, em último caso, tavam sempre no fio da navalha
26. o que é que uma hemorroida e a fealdade têm em comum?
nenhuma se cura com cremes
27. qual é a filosofia de vida hemorroida?
viver os outdoors
28. qual o slogan publicitário favorito da hemorroida?
vá pra fora, cá dentro
nã tenho paxorra pra mais, mas vejo potencial infinito neste tema
catarse oca no tempo
minha noite de ontem não foi grande coisa.
o sueco é um gajo muito bacano, tal como quase todos os nórdicos recatados que conheço, transmite calma.
a mudança de pólos está se a dar.
de certa forma foi tortura.
ela pelo menos tá a ser feliz, mesmo que não comigo.
recuso que tenha terminado por uma coisa inacreditavelmente insignificante.
agora diz-se que já passou muito tempo e a divergência é irreversível.
há 15 dias não, e havia saudade.
voltei com qualquer coisa de nojento, em duas ou três oportunidades fodi tudo.
yeah tou convencido que acabou tudo de vez, mas não acredito.
aquela situação em que nada que se faça nos faz sentir melhores.
a não ser olhar para dentro.
meu Deus o que lhe fiz sofrer.
e agora sofro.
foi mal aconselhada, eu também. que mania de se meterem, as pessoas.
e agora?
lentamente morro e renasço, não tenho hipóteses de não passar por um calvário emocional.
estão bem envolvidos até.
pensei que fosse demorar mais tempo... ligam-se pra sairem e isso.
lindo. lindo. já não digo nada a ninguém para além daqueles que é obrigatório dizer, hoje em dia.
o que é que eu sou?
e por favor que acabem os sonhos bons com ela, porque acordo pior. ou então que nunca acabem....
Título original: "Doença 1"
Data: 15 de Março de 2008
Contexto: regresso de Cancun, ex-namorada abandona voluntariamente o limbo pós-breakup, fodeu mané e eu tive o cuidado de não me envolver com a VHS - inglório. Lembro-me bem de lágrimas a escorrer pelos braços. Seguiram-se os melhores 6 meses da minha vida, obrigado a todos.
Moral: mais resistência à emoção contextual porque "tempo" e "entropia"
hi5 vintage testimonials
Descobri que tenho não um mais dois blogs enterrados na década dos 2 mil e X
Ricardo Ramin - datado de ca. 2007
0.) Podia fazer aqui um texto nostalgico, enumerando situacoes caricatas que vivemos em comum, descrevendo as nossas experiencias de infancia (adolescencia para ti), denunciando situacoes manifestamente improprias para um actual funcionario da SATA e alegando esforcadamente ao mundo seres buueeeeda fixe menz. E vou mesmo. E vou chamar este texto "Ja contaste ah Mara?" *Inserir aqui musica melancolica dos anos 90, se possivel Bon Jovi - Always*
1.) Ja contaste ah Mara que te salvei de caires dum Peugeot 504 em andamento, que te arranjei de forma sistematica latinas nos apartamentos caracas (ele sempre foi louco por sul-americanas Mara), que fui eu que te ensinei a dar mergulhos decentes na outrora fabulosa quinta do americo durao, que fui um dos principais impulsionadores para cortares o cabelo que tinhas à Slash dos Guns N' Roses nos anos 90s (devias tar mesmo grato por esta, a serio), que fui dos poucos que acreditei em ti quando se deu a tua ascensao meteorica no mundo do futebol... se isso nao e verdade pelo menos podemos dizer que o teu declinio foi de craque (lesao grave), que me me efectuaste curativos pos-operatorios em pelo menos uma malograda ocasiao que recordo com pouca estima? (agradecimentos especiais ao Rodrigo tambem ,podemos dizer que voces me conhecem como ninguem...e jah agora devo dizer que gostei muito e recomendo que consideres uma carreira de enfermeiro caso as coisas deem para o torto como estafeta da SATA). Ja contaste ah Mara que assisti contigo ah forma eximia como o Rodrigo comunicava em lingua estrangeira em Madrid ou que te acompanhei voluntariamente numa experiencia de quase morte, se bem que um pouco enganado, pelos ceus da nossa bela ilha? (ah nao tu es alfacinha, esquece).
2.) Se existem por ai cinicos (ou criticos, eh a mesma coisa) a objectar que estas recordacoes todas nao interessam a ninguem e que eh pouco elegante estarem aqui expostas neste antro de engate a que chamamos hi5 , tem razao. Isto sao merdas para serem recordadas internamente, no seio do nucleo, sao assuntos de natureza vincadamente pessoal *escolher expressao favorita*. Nao obstante, tenho uma explicacao simples e elegante para o sucedido : vao se foder.
3.) We'll never die brotha
4.) Air Luxor rulez
Gui - circa 2007
para mim tanto me faz *abanar cabeça suavemente e efectuar movimento circular com as mãos enquanto estalando dedos*. posta a introdução, só quero dizer que quem vê o teu profile pensa que é só malucada na tua vida. mas não é. há mto trabalho de bastidores, mto estudo de imagem, mto estudo de mercado essencialmente. e só assim nasce este produto liberal e de massas juvenis, tão popular para uns como obsceno para outros (é mentira, toda a gente gosta dele, isto era só pq ficava bem). Guilherme, ou Gui como nos obrigas a te chamar para conservares a tua identidade mediática, aquele abraço, e sempre que fores à Madeira.... vai na air luxor que é mais barato.
Ricardo "Massas" Gouveia - circa 2008
o meu testemunho para ti não será uma tentativa de definir a tua personalidade num texto. antes vou só deixar aqui para todo o sempre - ou pelo menos enquanto o servidor do hi5 aguentar - um lamento : é pena não termos tempo e não partilharmos os mesmos espaços neste dias. uma simples paragem de autocarro sempre serviu perfeitamente para passarmos horas a divagar sobre quase tudo. lembro-me de ser particularmente interessante pelo simples facto de seres do contra, mesmo que a convenção que se criou acerca desse aspecto da tua personalidade fosse um exagero. de qualquer forma, uma discussão não tem piada nenhuma se ambas as partes concordarem e provavelmente hoje tás diferente. daí também a inutilidade de te descrever objectivamente por intermédio de palavras. se desde os teus 20 anos te pudesse descrever de igual maneira até aos 50 pouco ou nada teriam servido 30 anos, não terias evoluido, não terias aprendido. acerca do presente e futuro suponho que teja tudo a correr bem apesar de não saber grandes detalhes acerca de ti actualmente. finalmente, desta merda toda que escrevi, so uma é realmente importante - daqui a 40 anos, espero que olhes para trás e consideres que viveste bem a vida. adios amigo.
Luis "Way" Almeida - circa 2008
n bebes nada. ainda guardo com particular carinho akela meia garrafa de absinto com que me deixaste no porto santo. aproveito este clima de romantismo para te pedir em casamento (a lili que n se preocupe que eu n sou ciumento.) e mais importantemente para fazer grupo nos labs este semestre ("mas é pra trabalhares" by Sara). por favor responde-me com a máxima celeridade. bjs garanhão.
Manel Neves - circa 2007
é ponto assente que em todos os desportos na história houveram sempre personagens que, apesar de serem sistematicamente batidos ao longo das suas carreiras, nunca deixaram de lutar, de acreditar em si, de se proclararem quase que cegamente como os melhores naquilo que faziam e de chatearem os verdadeiros campeões constantemente para uma desforra. São conhecidos como os eternos derrotados, mas reconhecidos pela sua devoção e dedicação e pela sua vontade em melhorarem. Os exemplos são muitos : o plantel actual de futsal do sporting, o plantel actual de futebol do sporting, o plantel actual de hoquei do sporting, os jogadores actuais de xadrez do sporting , e agora o Manel do PES5 do Sporting. Admiro a tua preseverança meu caro amigo Manel mas verdade seja dita, não dás para aquecer. Venham outros melhores (se não tiverem a dormir).
Strob - circa 2006
companheiro de tropa em 71 em angola, já passei alguns momentos dramáticos com este homem. Quem não se lembra das míticas emboscadas no Excesso de que fomos alvos, e em particular do teu transporte de volta para o acampamento quando te encontravas moribundo, às portas da morte.....o teu reencontro com o General no acampamento... memórias que já lá vão longe, mas que o tempo nunca apagará! Aqueles dias...
Ricardo Ramin - datado de ca. 2007
0.) Podia fazer aqui um texto nostalgico, enumerando situacoes caricatas que vivemos em comum, descrevendo as nossas experiencias de infancia (adolescencia para ti), denunciando situacoes manifestamente improprias para um actual funcionario da SATA e alegando esforcadamente ao mundo seres buueeeeda fixe menz. E vou mesmo. E vou chamar este texto "Ja contaste ah Mara?" *Inserir aqui musica melancolica dos anos 90, se possivel Bon Jovi - Always*
1.) Ja contaste ah Mara que te salvei de caires dum Peugeot 504 em andamento, que te arranjei de forma sistematica latinas nos apartamentos caracas (ele sempre foi louco por sul-americanas Mara), que fui eu que te ensinei a dar mergulhos decentes na outrora fabulosa quinta do americo durao, que fui um dos principais impulsionadores para cortares o cabelo que tinhas à Slash dos Guns N' Roses nos anos 90s (devias tar mesmo grato por esta, a serio), que fui dos poucos que acreditei em ti quando se deu a tua ascensao meteorica no mundo do futebol... se isso nao e verdade pelo menos podemos dizer que o teu declinio foi de craque (lesao grave), que me me efectuaste curativos pos-operatorios em pelo menos uma malograda ocasiao que recordo com pouca estima? (agradecimentos especiais ao Rodrigo tambem ,podemos dizer que voces me conhecem como ninguem...e jah agora devo dizer que gostei muito e recomendo que consideres uma carreira de enfermeiro caso as coisas deem para o torto como estafeta da SATA). Ja contaste ah Mara que assisti contigo ah forma eximia como o Rodrigo comunicava em lingua estrangeira em Madrid ou que te acompanhei voluntariamente numa experiencia de quase morte, se bem que um pouco enganado, pelos ceus da nossa bela ilha? (ah nao tu es alfacinha, esquece).
2.) Se existem por ai cinicos (ou criticos, eh a mesma coisa) a objectar que estas recordacoes todas nao interessam a ninguem e que eh pouco elegante estarem aqui expostas neste antro de engate a que chamamos hi5 , tem razao. Isto sao merdas para serem recordadas internamente, no seio do nucleo, sao assuntos de natureza vincadamente pessoal *escolher expressao favorita*. Nao obstante, tenho uma explicacao simples e elegante para o sucedido : vao se foder.
3.) We'll never die brotha
4.) Air Luxor rulez
Gui - circa 2007
para mim tanto me faz *abanar cabeça suavemente e efectuar movimento circular com as mãos enquanto estalando dedos*. posta a introdução, só quero dizer que quem vê o teu profile pensa que é só malucada na tua vida. mas não é. há mto trabalho de bastidores, mto estudo de imagem, mto estudo de mercado essencialmente. e só assim nasce este produto liberal e de massas juvenis, tão popular para uns como obsceno para outros (é mentira, toda a gente gosta dele, isto era só pq ficava bem). Guilherme, ou Gui como nos obrigas a te chamar para conservares a tua identidade mediática, aquele abraço, e sempre que fores à Madeira.... vai na air luxor que é mais barato.
Ricardo "Massas" Gouveia - circa 2008
o meu testemunho para ti não será uma tentativa de definir a tua personalidade num texto. antes vou só deixar aqui para todo o sempre - ou pelo menos enquanto o servidor do hi5 aguentar - um lamento : é pena não termos tempo e não partilharmos os mesmos espaços neste dias. uma simples paragem de autocarro sempre serviu perfeitamente para passarmos horas a divagar sobre quase tudo. lembro-me de ser particularmente interessante pelo simples facto de seres do contra, mesmo que a convenção que se criou acerca desse aspecto da tua personalidade fosse um exagero. de qualquer forma, uma discussão não tem piada nenhuma se ambas as partes concordarem e provavelmente hoje tás diferente. daí também a inutilidade de te descrever objectivamente por intermédio de palavras. se desde os teus 20 anos te pudesse descrever de igual maneira até aos 50 pouco ou nada teriam servido 30 anos, não terias evoluido, não terias aprendido. acerca do presente e futuro suponho que teja tudo a correr bem apesar de não saber grandes detalhes acerca de ti actualmente. finalmente, desta merda toda que escrevi, so uma é realmente importante - daqui a 40 anos, espero que olhes para trás e consideres que viveste bem a vida. adios amigo.
Luis "Way" Almeida - circa 2008
n bebes nada. ainda guardo com particular carinho akela meia garrafa de absinto com que me deixaste no porto santo. aproveito este clima de romantismo para te pedir em casamento (a lili que n se preocupe que eu n sou ciumento.) e mais importantemente para fazer grupo nos labs este semestre ("mas é pra trabalhares" by Sara). por favor responde-me com a máxima celeridade. bjs garanhão.
Manel Neves - circa 2007
é ponto assente que em todos os desportos na história houveram sempre personagens que, apesar de serem sistematicamente batidos ao longo das suas carreiras, nunca deixaram de lutar, de acreditar em si, de se proclararem quase que cegamente como os melhores naquilo que faziam e de chatearem os verdadeiros campeões constantemente para uma desforra. São conhecidos como os eternos derrotados, mas reconhecidos pela sua devoção e dedicação e pela sua vontade em melhorarem. Os exemplos são muitos : o plantel actual de futsal do sporting, o plantel actual de futebol do sporting, o plantel actual de hoquei do sporting, os jogadores actuais de xadrez do sporting , e agora o Manel do PES5 do Sporting. Admiro a tua preseverança meu caro amigo Manel mas verdade seja dita, não dás para aquecer. Venham outros melhores (se não tiverem a dormir).
Strob - circa 2006
companheiro de tropa em 71 em angola, já passei alguns momentos dramáticos com este homem. Quem não se lembra das míticas emboscadas no Excesso de que fomos alvos, e em particular do teu transporte de volta para o acampamento quando te encontravas moribundo, às portas da morte.....o teu reencontro com o General no acampamento... memórias que já lá vão longe, mas que o tempo nunca apagará! Aqueles dias...
wholepapers #4 - ou 5, acho
até agora tenho evitado meter wallypapers no meu computador principal para evitar que se desintegre sobrecarregado. Agora já não vou evitar mais.
r1 - dk-win7
sim, tava a apoiar
so
ta igual
fodaz temos de atacar mais que crl
Tomás Camacho, Camacho tenho a certeza o Tomás nem por isso
- pah tou em chamadas
- o conas ta a jantarenão conheces?lolhaha oka long range shot maybe..mario is happy now for sure
- escolheu o time errado no brasil definitivamente!
- devia pelo menos torcer pra ponte preta!!!!ele disse que era vosso amigo; de ti e da Babi
pro crlsabiafodabora borasimfodaz tinha 30 mil gajose rematahunnnnicw goal..mannamy likes to this Strikerpor acaso tem cara de Tomásestadio parece bacanofalando nisso vou ver a anime Baccano daqui a pouco;D"Nesta altura eu tinha qualquer coisa estranha na minha vida". Ya sacana, detecta o padrão. No facebook a falar dum jogo do espordengue, isso é a primeira. Segunda só há uma gaja e é a tua mãe. Terceira isto não vai mudar. Tu foste enganado mas bem enganado a escolher esta trip. Começa já a poupar karma prá próxima viagem, porque com o karma da última não podes pedir muito mais do que isto assim. "É na boa". "Em caso de dúvida, há sempre wallpapers".
allpaypers #3 - BENFICA EU SOU DO CORAÇÃO / BENFICA ATÉ DEBAIXO D'ÁGUA / BENFICA, EU SOU DO CORAÇÃO / BENFICA, ATÉ DEBAIXO D'ÁGUA / QUEM FALA MAL DO CLUBE CAMPEÃO / OU É D'INVEJA / OU É DE MÁGOA / BENFICA, BENFICA, NA TERRA E NO MAR / SE PERDE O BENFICA / NÃO QUERO JANTAR / BENFICA DO MEU CORAÇÃO.. / PORQUE O BENFICA É O CLUBE CAMPEÃO
r2 - dk-ubuntu
"É simples, a gente mata o pacmão" é um cover dos da weasel duma expressão geralmente associada à comic batmão dos maravel. Neste jogo, o objectivo é o perfil da cabeça dum gajo amarelo - perdido e sem rumo num labirinto metafórico -, comer pastilhas que psicadelizam o mundo e lhe dão super-poderes que lhe permitem não só enfrentar os fantasmas que o perseguem como comê-los. Depois de comer as pastilhas todas, ele passa para o labirinto seguinte e assim sucessivamente até à morte. Foi uma jogada de marketing genial da Pfizer. Onde acaba o marketing ultraeficiente e onde começa a programação em massa? Inserir cócós aqui -> |____________| . O pacman foi o primeiro jogo que eu joguei na vida, num atari 2600 na noruega. As minhas primeiras duas memórias de consumo mediático foram o pacman e a MTV a bombar o videoclip da "like a prayer" da cicciolina. Na Noruega já havia MTV em 1986 e eu tive de crescer com isso. Hoje tenho dificuldades em lidar com gajas emancipadas intelectualmente, não me faz sentido nenhum, tudo parece muito mais complexo e sinto-me involucrado em confusão. Porque é que eu tenho este wallpaper? Porque é que eu nasci? Porque é simples, a gente mata o pacmão.
carta rumo ao abismo
Hey cuz,
I guess I should apologize in the first place for not having taken the time to send you a letter before. Reason is, well... firstly i'm one of those idiots that still refuses to acknowledge the irreversible nature of time, and secondly, i have this tendency to postpone things that i really don't know how to do or just want to do really well, which is basically one of my - multiple - persistent childish traits. As a 12 year old in a body of a 28 year old, I rather ignore stuff I can't cope with, and to be honest i've never had (and still don't have) any idea of what is a good letter to write to someone in the shit situation you're in. Particularly when we haven't talked in more than a decade and i can't really think of a topic no one has ever written to you about 10 million times before. So here, I've said it, i have no idea of what i'm doing.
I want to know how it is, what you feel and experience right now, but I think you discuss that often with people very close to you. It would be selfish of me to expect or ask you to focus on that so i'm going to do something else, i'm going to bring a bit of the outside world to you, a part of it that you don't know yet - what goes on in my life and my mind - whatever the nature. Not because i think it's interesting at any level, but because i'd like this letter to be a window to something outside the context you are right now.
To be honest, I really wish I could be a good writer so i could write something enjoyable to you, but instead of being really good at something in specific, i'm kind of average at everything. It was a conscious personality choice, it actually came by design: i've always been scared of honing myself too much into something and losing the broader perspective over what other things life has to offer. I'll never really stand out at anything, which is just fine, because since i was a kid i've always hated to not feel normal. Either way, I guess I earned this aversion to unidimensional dedication from people around me who have lead linear lives, and who have became experts at something - people who know too much about too few and do too many of too little. And by leading linear lives i don't only mean sticking to a handful of objectives and pretending nothing else exists, but also making sure a very fine and narrow range of emotions is targeted and, eventually, observed upon reaching very precisely planned milestones.
(Moment of Zen: I think the way you lead life is a bit like the way you carry yourself on the beach, you either swim and feel in control, or you surf the waves and ride an incommensurably superior force and feel alive. It's a humbling experience, i guess. Should probably mention now that it's really ironic that i don't know how to surf.)
Going back to the life philosophy rant: well, with these deep-linear-life-scuba-dives into a single direction, you feed so much of the same shit to your neurons that they carve powerful, hardly-bonded neuronal domains that strongly stimulate and get stimulated by your emotional circuits, in a process otherwise known as 'having a collective and/or individual ego'. Then stuff like beliefs, fundamentalism and pride by association to ideas, practices or groups comes along naturally and you can't really grasp the world without escaping these. So, even though it's often difficult, i guess it's interesting to remain at the highest abstraction level possible, just free-thinking and steering well away from the possible inflation of one's ego and hard-wiring of the mental-mesh, which in my personal case I consider a dangerous meta-entity and, to be quite honest, kind of a meta-asshole.
I also wish I could do a really cool and inspiring drawing or shit, but i'm absolutely terrible with arts, not because i had an 'analytic' education, but because everyone else always said I was the 'analytic' kind, so I just never tried to develop artistic skills (there goes my 'average at everything' claim). What no one told me was that there's no such thing as a kind of person - despite the fact that everyone is constantly pressuring everyone else to fit into square, easily identifiable categories etc etc. But what do you know, people regularly fall for that, and eventually just squeeze their individuality - how they look, how they act, how they sense the world - into those categories, either voluntarily, by trying to belong to a group which they feel expresses the way they are or want to be, or involuntarily, through peer pressure. And then every unique person in the world gets killed and it just becomes boring and predictable. At first I thought this was pretty much a 90s thing but it kind of got worse in the 00s. Very fortunately, das internet and it's crazy infinite flow of self-detaching neo-liberalism has made people understand this psycho-sociological mistake more and more, and i have recently been tempted to feel that people are actually starting to emerge from that diluted, homogeneous mass of normalization and learning to love and respect themselves by what they essentially are, which in some cases, is very admirable, given the degree of douchebaggery involved (you could argue that a self-respecting douchebag is, in essence, an arrogant prick, which can, in essence, be conveniently shortened into simply 'douchebag'. From my experience, society takes great pride in taking these down, and being a douchebag these days is a short-lived adventure unless you are really really stupid to the point of oblivion).
I've had quite a few problems in the past with self-esteem and shit, and if there's one thing i learned is that in my case it's justified. No, just kidding, what i really learned but sounds too much of a cliché to go around promoting is that it really really is important to feel good with yourself, with what you are, with all your flaws and qualities, which isn't something that you can easily convince yourself into - despite often you getting the illusion that that is the case. Anyways, I always think of anorectic people.. how their mind always fucks them really hard into believing they're fat, until they actually physically die. Well, i guess it's the same thing with people with low self-esteem, only that it's the mind that dies from starvation at some point. In general, I guess that the lesson to be learned is that our minds are generally scumbaggy, and we should always be weary of whatever the fuck it is convinced of at any given time. Constant struggle.
In retrospect, I can imagine all this might sound rather obvious to you, but in the time and place i grew up in, it wasn't, we basically had to find it by ourselves, and with the internet in it's early stages, there weren't really that many references we could use in order to independently validate what we felt was right. And our semi-closed society didn't really help, for that matter...
Wow, this definitely sounds negatively charged so far. Which takes me to electricity, which takes me to science, which takes me to something interesting i read today. Apparently there are more stars in the universe than there have been words or sounds uttered by every human being that has ever lived on earth. Pretty sure they didn't count my grandma's moaning on that calculation but nevertheless it's an amazing fact. Once, i dyed my hair orange and when i went to visit my grandma the same day, she started shouting with her christian cross held up high, claiming i was possessed by the devil and that she never wanted to see me again. The next week everything was ok and we spent an afternoon in which she was asking me science stuff all the time. Her main hypothesis for how spaceships would fly to the moon was by 'drilling through the roof of the sky'. No opportunity to get an education in the Portugal of the 1940's. But again, her not being normal - by today's standards at least -, just makes her funny, unpredictable and sweet. She often mispronounces stuff beyond understanding, particularly when ordering stuff at restaurants. It's hilarious and she just goes with the flow and laughs about herself, which makes it altogether the more positive.
The last memory I have with you is by the seaside in Funchal. I remember your smiling face, with the city's mountain amphitheater set on the background, eternally venerating the deep blue Atlantic painted by the steep underwater cliffs that surround Madeira and crown it as the pearl of its ocean. A tiny mass of volcanic rock, apparently made from carefully crafted dried magma, and isolated from the rest of all land masses in the planet. A place to which I, your mom, my mom and one million other people can trace back their roots to. That day that i remember, it must have been something like 10 years ago but i really can't be sure. Anyways i remember laughing a lot and feeling that you guys had something special in you, by the way you could empathize with me, with others. This is a rare quality (i should know, i live in Germany...) and one that often ensures success in whatever you want do to throughout life. People long to be touched, to feel connected. And some people have that ability, to make others feel wanted and important without even trying. It's a beautiful thing, of extreme value, and formally underrated. Society teaches us to be aesthetically and intellectually attractive, which i guess is ok but we really tend to forget how much important reaching deep into people is. Intelligence, beauty, they're pretty much the most valued characteristics in western society but i'd say they're pretty much overrated comparing to the ability to empathize with others.
Anyways, excellent memories with you guys, always channel me through a stream of positivism. Not only my own memories of you, but memories of memories of others. Everyone in the family gets inspired by and admires you. Needless to say, this admiration is unconditional, in every possible sense. As is the distant but implicit and perseverant love bridge we insist in keeping solid across the Atlantic, despite only sporadic contact.
People are worried about you right now, how you are dealing with being there, but people are NOT worried about your future. I guess you've had time to think about your future. Wouldn't be surprised if you concluded that your future should be to cherish every moment of your life and be as free as you can be, just following the shit out of what you actually want to do. This probably sounds really stupid coming from someone outside but there are people out here that set themselves into mind prisons their whole life, unknowingly - you have the absolute best of your life coming ahead of you, consider being free in every dimension possible. I cannot imagine at all what is your situation but i can imagine that one thing you might have an advantage over all of us is that you will probably now know how to value shit we take for granted every day. And that we still moan about. People here go on whining for hours when the train is late for 10 minutes when 500 years ago you'd have to walk. Shit, what i just wrote really sounds something like you might have heard 10 thousand times already so i'll just stop.
Talked to your sister quite a while the other day, on facebook. She told me a bit about how you were doing, she told me you were standing strong and how much she felt inspired by the way you are dealing with it all. Your sister turned out to be what i thought she would be. Caring and intelligent, sweet and strong.
I have always thought about you guys often, specially after we linked through facebook, naturally. I haven't tried to approach you more often on it because i understand how we all have our own lives and that sometimes the priorities we have leave little time, energy or patience outside the scope of those priorities. By this i mean that me being almost like a far away stranger probably doesn't make me the most desirable person to chat with so i'd rather save you guys the effort :) But probably i'm just stupid and probably a bit socially awkward also (that's a semi-fact).
Which leads me into my blatantly-about-me paragraph, in which i'd like to present myself as a carbon-based bipedal primate subject to the virtues and frailties of the human race. I work for a big corporation, which makes me kind of a hypocrite, because i'm kind of pissed with the socio-economic system. But i also love what i do, and it actually helps people around the world find their way around (i do R&D on a GPS navigation system hehe). Guess you can never have a perfect situation, let alone a perfect job. Either way, rules of the game are clear: $ is needed in order to survive and, most importantly, to travel. Alternatively i can just walk to Tanzania feeding off dry nuts and dead camels on my way before settling on a hut in the foothill of the Kilimanjaro for the rest of my days. Will surely try that someday, i always take these dramatic exits from my life stage when everything goes wrong (aka girlfriend leaves). Yeah, that's another thing, i have a very strong level of detachment from the past. Sure i get my occasional runs of nostalgia, but by this i mean that i don't really see now as a collection of befores. When i was younger i used to collect a lot of shit on my computer. At one point i had 12 years of my favorite pictures and videos found on the internet (basically porn, jk), personal pictures, songs, etc. One day i decided to try to install linux just for the sake of it and didn't realize it was going to overwrite the previous hard disk partition in which windows was installed, plus everything else on it. Went to the toilet and when i came back i realized i had just lost everything collected through those 12 years, including chat logs with soon to be ex-girlfriends. Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't the best of feelings i've had in my life, but the actual feeling of freedom that i started releasing after that was revealing. I learned a lesson that day - it doesn't really fucking matter what has happened thus far, you can lose all of it at any given time, by whichever of any of the billions of stupid accidents that can happen. It's not a matter of collecting and recollecting past shit, it's a matter of permanently looking forward with your chin up, accepting every new challenge, circumstance or adversity that might cross your way, without regard for whatever has happened before.
Besides this, I've had a few interesting life experiences since i left Madeira. If you're interested i can try writing some sort of memoirs as partial topics to subsequent letters, or something. I did two eurails (2007 and 2008) in which i roamed aimlessly on a train around remote parts of Europe (balkans and east) for a couple of months, always sleeping in the streets or train stations. Basically surfed life for that period of time. In the meantime fucked up a 7 year relationship and shortened my life expectancy by about 10 years. I regret none of that shit :)
I wonder if these letters are inspected before? If yes, i'd like to say two things: Merry Christmas everyone reading this and FORÇA BENFICA, VAMOS PARA CIMA DESSES FILHAS DUMA GRANDA PUTA, CARALHO.
If you have time to answer back man i'd love to read from you and your plans for the future and anything you have to say or ask. You must already be reading a lot of stuff over there, but if you have time and the opportunity, I would really recommend you to read one of the greatest writers/poets of all time, in my opinion, just because he's portuguese hehe. His name is Fernando Pessoa. An absolute genius with multiple personality disorder, that ended up having several heteronyms - distinct writing personas - that would interact and discuss with each other over several philosophical quadrants of life. (Question: can i actually send you books?)
For now i'll leave you with a small poem by him that i remember from elementary school by heart (remember being inspired by it at the time hehe). This was written in the beginning of the 20th century as an ode to the bravery of the portuguese navigators and discoverers of the 15th century :
Oh salty sea,
How much of your salt,
are tears from Portugal?
Because we crossed you,
How many mothers cried?
How many children in vain prayed?
How many brides were left unwed?
So that you could be ours, oh sea.
Was it worthwhile?
Anything is worthwhile, when the spirit is not small
Who wants to go through the Bojador,
Will have to go past pain,
God gave to the sea perils and abysses
But it was also in it, that He mirrored the sky.
[Bojador is a cape in western Africa, considered impossible to go through, at the time]
Regardless of what happens in the future, i really really really wish we meet soon again cuz.. i definitely owe you guys a visit, and i wanna cross the US at some point, so that's an idea there. Alternatively, you could always come on an european tour :)
And well i guess this is my attempt at writing a letter to you. In retrospect, it doesn't make much sense in terms of structure but i would much rather send it as it is, at is came from my heart, than to improve it iteratively by study. In the end, I really hope this wasn't a complete waste of your time. I took a while to write this, and reason i wanted to keep going was that it somehow made me feel closer to you.
Very big emotional hug, with the promise of a physical reenactment of it in the near future.
Love you man, you can count on me for anything within my reach.
Pedro :)
I guess I should apologize in the first place for not having taken the time to send you a letter before. Reason is, well... firstly i'm one of those idiots that still refuses to acknowledge the irreversible nature of time, and secondly, i have this tendency to postpone things that i really don't know how to do or just want to do really well, which is basically one of my - multiple - persistent childish traits. As a 12 year old in a body of a 28 year old, I rather ignore stuff I can't cope with, and to be honest i've never had (and still don't have) any idea of what is a good letter to write to someone in the shit situation you're in. Particularly when we haven't talked in more than a decade and i can't really think of a topic no one has ever written to you about 10 million times before. So here, I've said it, i have no idea of what i'm doing.
I want to know how it is, what you feel and experience right now, but I think you discuss that often with people very close to you. It would be selfish of me to expect or ask you to focus on that so i'm going to do something else, i'm going to bring a bit of the outside world to you, a part of it that you don't know yet - what goes on in my life and my mind - whatever the nature. Not because i think it's interesting at any level, but because i'd like this letter to be a window to something outside the context you are right now.
To be honest, I really wish I could be a good writer so i could write something enjoyable to you, but instead of being really good at something in specific, i'm kind of average at everything. It was a conscious personality choice, it actually came by design: i've always been scared of honing myself too much into something and losing the broader perspective over what other things life has to offer. I'll never really stand out at anything, which is just fine, because since i was a kid i've always hated to not feel normal. Either way, I guess I earned this aversion to unidimensional dedication from people around me who have lead linear lives, and who have became experts at something - people who know too much about too few and do too many of too little. And by leading linear lives i don't only mean sticking to a handful of objectives and pretending nothing else exists, but also making sure a very fine and narrow range of emotions is targeted and, eventually, observed upon reaching very precisely planned milestones.
(Moment of Zen: I think the way you lead life is a bit like the way you carry yourself on the beach, you either swim and feel in control, or you surf the waves and ride an incommensurably superior force and feel alive. It's a humbling experience, i guess. Should probably mention now that it's really ironic that i don't know how to surf.)
Going back to the life philosophy rant: well, with these deep-linear-life-scuba-dives into a single direction, you feed so much of the same shit to your neurons that they carve powerful, hardly-bonded neuronal domains that strongly stimulate and get stimulated by your emotional circuits, in a process otherwise known as 'having a collective and/or individual ego'. Then stuff like beliefs, fundamentalism and pride by association to ideas, practices or groups comes along naturally and you can't really grasp the world without escaping these. So, even though it's often difficult, i guess it's interesting to remain at the highest abstraction level possible, just free-thinking and steering well away from the possible inflation of one's ego and hard-wiring of the mental-mesh, which in my personal case I consider a dangerous meta-entity and, to be quite honest, kind of a meta-asshole.
I also wish I could do a really cool and inspiring drawing or shit, but i'm absolutely terrible with arts, not because i had an 'analytic' education, but because everyone else always said I was the 'analytic' kind, so I just never tried to develop artistic skills (there goes my 'average at everything' claim). What no one told me was that there's no such thing as a kind of person - despite the fact that everyone is constantly pressuring everyone else to fit into square, easily identifiable categories etc etc. But what do you know, people regularly fall for that, and eventually just squeeze their individuality - how they look, how they act, how they sense the world - into those categories, either voluntarily, by trying to belong to a group which they feel expresses the way they are or want to be, or involuntarily, through peer pressure. And then every unique person in the world gets killed and it just becomes boring and predictable. At first I thought this was pretty much a 90s thing but it kind of got worse in the 00s. Very fortunately, das internet and it's crazy infinite flow of self-detaching neo-liberalism has made people understand this psycho-sociological mistake more and more, and i have recently been tempted to feel that people are actually starting to emerge from that diluted, homogeneous mass of normalization and learning to love and respect themselves by what they essentially are, which in some cases, is very admirable, given the degree of douchebaggery involved (you could argue that a self-respecting douchebag is, in essence, an arrogant prick, which can, in essence, be conveniently shortened into simply 'douchebag'. From my experience, society takes great pride in taking these down, and being a douchebag these days is a short-lived adventure unless you are really really stupid to the point of oblivion).
I've had quite a few problems in the past with self-esteem and shit, and if there's one thing i learned is that in my case it's justified. No, just kidding, what i really learned but sounds too much of a cliché to go around promoting is that it really really is important to feel good with yourself, with what you are, with all your flaws and qualities, which isn't something that you can easily convince yourself into - despite often you getting the illusion that that is the case. Anyways, I always think of anorectic people.. how their mind always fucks them really hard into believing they're fat, until they actually physically die. Well, i guess it's the same thing with people with low self-esteem, only that it's the mind that dies from starvation at some point. In general, I guess that the lesson to be learned is that our minds are generally scumbaggy, and we should always be weary of whatever the fuck it is convinced of at any given time. Constant struggle.
In retrospect, I can imagine all this might sound rather obvious to you, but in the time and place i grew up in, it wasn't, we basically had to find it by ourselves, and with the internet in it's early stages, there weren't really that many references we could use in order to independently validate what we felt was right. And our semi-closed society didn't really help, for that matter...
Wow, this definitely sounds negatively charged so far. Which takes me to electricity, which takes me to science, which takes me to something interesting i read today. Apparently there are more stars in the universe than there have been words or sounds uttered by every human being that has ever lived on earth. Pretty sure they didn't count my grandma's moaning on that calculation but nevertheless it's an amazing fact. Once, i dyed my hair orange and when i went to visit my grandma the same day, she started shouting with her christian cross held up high, claiming i was possessed by the devil and that she never wanted to see me again. The next week everything was ok and we spent an afternoon in which she was asking me science stuff all the time. Her main hypothesis for how spaceships would fly to the moon was by 'drilling through the roof of the sky'. No opportunity to get an education in the Portugal of the 1940's. But again, her not being normal - by today's standards at least -, just makes her funny, unpredictable and sweet. She often mispronounces stuff beyond understanding, particularly when ordering stuff at restaurants. It's hilarious and she just goes with the flow and laughs about herself, which makes it altogether the more positive.
The last memory I have with you is by the seaside in Funchal. I remember your smiling face, with the city's mountain amphitheater set on the background, eternally venerating the deep blue Atlantic painted by the steep underwater cliffs that surround Madeira and crown it as the pearl of its ocean. A tiny mass of volcanic rock, apparently made from carefully crafted dried magma, and isolated from the rest of all land masses in the planet. A place to which I, your mom, my mom and one million other people can trace back their roots to. That day that i remember, it must have been something like 10 years ago but i really can't be sure. Anyways i remember laughing a lot and feeling that you guys had something special in you, by the way you could empathize with me, with others. This is a rare quality (i should know, i live in Germany...) and one that often ensures success in whatever you want do to throughout life. People long to be touched, to feel connected. And some people have that ability, to make others feel wanted and important without even trying. It's a beautiful thing, of extreme value, and formally underrated. Society teaches us to be aesthetically and intellectually attractive, which i guess is ok but we really tend to forget how much important reaching deep into people is. Intelligence, beauty, they're pretty much the most valued characteristics in western society but i'd say they're pretty much overrated comparing to the ability to empathize with others.
Anyways, excellent memories with you guys, always channel me through a stream of positivism. Not only my own memories of you, but memories of memories of others. Everyone in the family gets inspired by and admires you. Needless to say, this admiration is unconditional, in every possible sense. As is the distant but implicit and perseverant love bridge we insist in keeping solid across the Atlantic, despite only sporadic contact.
People are worried about you right now, how you are dealing with being there, but people are NOT worried about your future. I guess you've had time to think about your future. Wouldn't be surprised if you concluded that your future should be to cherish every moment of your life and be as free as you can be, just following the shit out of what you actually want to do. This probably sounds really stupid coming from someone outside but there are people out here that set themselves into mind prisons their whole life, unknowingly - you have the absolute best of your life coming ahead of you, consider being free in every dimension possible. I cannot imagine at all what is your situation but i can imagine that one thing you might have an advantage over all of us is that you will probably now know how to value shit we take for granted every day. And that we still moan about. People here go on whining for hours when the train is late for 10 minutes when 500 years ago you'd have to walk. Shit, what i just wrote really sounds something like you might have heard 10 thousand times already so i'll just stop.
Talked to your sister quite a while the other day, on facebook. She told me a bit about how you were doing, she told me you were standing strong and how much she felt inspired by the way you are dealing with it all. Your sister turned out to be what i thought she would be. Caring and intelligent, sweet and strong.
I have always thought about you guys often, specially after we linked through facebook, naturally. I haven't tried to approach you more often on it because i understand how we all have our own lives and that sometimes the priorities we have leave little time, energy or patience outside the scope of those priorities. By this i mean that me being almost like a far away stranger probably doesn't make me the most desirable person to chat with so i'd rather save you guys the effort :) But probably i'm just stupid and probably a bit socially awkward also (that's a semi-fact).
Which leads me into my blatantly-about-me paragraph, in which i'd like to present myself as a carbon-based bipedal primate subject to the virtues and frailties of the human race. I work for a big corporation, which makes me kind of a hypocrite, because i'm kind of pissed with the socio-economic system. But i also love what i do, and it actually helps people around the world find their way around (i do R&D on a GPS navigation system hehe). Guess you can never have a perfect situation, let alone a perfect job. Either way, rules of the game are clear: $ is needed in order to survive and, most importantly, to travel. Alternatively i can just walk to Tanzania feeding off dry nuts and dead camels on my way before settling on a hut in the foothill of the Kilimanjaro for the rest of my days. Will surely try that someday, i always take these dramatic exits from my life stage when everything goes wrong (aka girlfriend leaves). Yeah, that's another thing, i have a very strong level of detachment from the past. Sure i get my occasional runs of nostalgia, but by this i mean that i don't really see now as a collection of befores. When i was younger i used to collect a lot of shit on my computer. At one point i had 12 years of my favorite pictures and videos found on the internet (basically porn, jk), personal pictures, songs, etc. One day i decided to try to install linux just for the sake of it and didn't realize it was going to overwrite the previous hard disk partition in which windows was installed, plus everything else on it. Went to the toilet and when i came back i realized i had just lost everything collected through those 12 years, including chat logs with soon to be ex-girlfriends. Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't the best of feelings i've had in my life, but the actual feeling of freedom that i started releasing after that was revealing. I learned a lesson that day - it doesn't really fucking matter what has happened thus far, you can lose all of it at any given time, by whichever of any of the billions of stupid accidents that can happen. It's not a matter of collecting and recollecting past shit, it's a matter of permanently looking forward with your chin up, accepting every new challenge, circumstance or adversity that might cross your way, without regard for whatever has happened before.
Besides this, I've had a few interesting life experiences since i left Madeira. If you're interested i can try writing some sort of memoirs as partial topics to subsequent letters, or something. I did two eurails (2007 and 2008) in which i roamed aimlessly on a train around remote parts of Europe (balkans and east) for a couple of months, always sleeping in the streets or train stations. Basically surfed life for that period of time. In the meantime fucked up a 7 year relationship and shortened my life expectancy by about 10 years. I regret none of that shit :)
I wonder if these letters are inspected before? If yes, i'd like to say two things: Merry Christmas everyone reading this and FORÇA BENFICA, VAMOS PARA CIMA DESSES FILHAS DUMA GRANDA PUTA, CARALHO.
If you have time to answer back man i'd love to read from you and your plans for the future and anything you have to say or ask. You must already be reading a lot of stuff over there, but if you have time and the opportunity, I would really recommend you to read one of the greatest writers/poets of all time, in my opinion, just because he's portuguese hehe. His name is Fernando Pessoa. An absolute genius with multiple personality disorder, that ended up having several heteronyms - distinct writing personas - that would interact and discuss with each other over several philosophical quadrants of life. (Question: can i actually send you books?)
For now i'll leave you with a small poem by him that i remember from elementary school by heart (remember being inspired by it at the time hehe). This was written in the beginning of the 20th century as an ode to the bravery of the portuguese navigators and discoverers of the 15th century :
Oh salty sea,
How much of your salt,
are tears from Portugal?
Because we crossed you,
How many mothers cried?
How many children in vain prayed?
How many brides were left unwed?
So that you could be ours, oh sea.
Was it worthwhile?
Anything is worthwhile, when the spirit is not small
Who wants to go through the Bojador,
Will have to go past pain,
God gave to the sea perils and abysses
But it was also in it, that He mirrored the sky.
[Bojador is a cape in western Africa, considered impossible to go through, at the time]
Regardless of what happens in the future, i really really really wish we meet soon again cuz.. i definitely owe you guys a visit, and i wanna cross the US at some point, so that's an idea there. Alternatively, you could always come on an european tour :)
And well i guess this is my attempt at writing a letter to you. In retrospect, it doesn't make much sense in terms of structure but i would much rather send it as it is, at is came from my heart, than to improve it iteratively by study. In the end, I really hope this wasn't a complete waste of your time. I took a while to write this, and reason i wanted to keep going was that it somehow made me feel closer to you.
Very big emotional hug, with the promise of a physical reenactment of it in the near future.
Love you man, you can count on me for anything within my reach.
Pedro :)
confooooooosio #307 - maxi copres
às vezes nunca consigo decidir se tenho uma hemorroida saida ou um bocado de merda pendurado
confusio ~1 disclaimer
Olá novos leitores: o que escrevo aqui neste blog é inteiramente factual e reflete cristalinamente a minha opinião. Por opinião minha entende-se tratado da verdade absoluta. Para um historial de opiniões, scroll down.
Para tudo o resto que não envolva injectar o que escrevo aqui directamente no córtex: vão pró caralho, vocês não pertencem aqui.
o arquivo da fotos da fortnight - introdução a babilim
tenho tanta tanta mas tanta tanta mas tanta tanta mas tanta setanta setanta sete oito nove "LOL ISTO É TÃO ALEATÓRIO HAHA PONEIS ARCO-IRIS FANTASIA NEUTROES DE PIAGET HAHA" dívida para com esta cena das fotos da semana
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| a única diferença desta vez é que sai daqui com duas gajas, a minha irmã e uma gorda balcânica. fayeva alone. |
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| berlim nas luzes e olhos |
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| xixi cócó |
 |
| pénis beita floresta |
 |
| a pensar na morte da bezerra LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL |
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| foda-se apanhamos o momento exacto em que o gajo da direita se desmaterializou, incrível, mesmo incrível |
 |
| no início parecia que ia ser uma noite sem grandes comoções |
 |
| de repente, loucura ensues |
 |
| loucura ensues' (eco) |
 |
| loucura ensues'' (eco) |
 |
| loucura ensues''' (eco) |
 |
| loucura ensues'''' (eco) |
 |
| a coleccionar rejects, a minha especialidade white knight |
 |
| AH MÃE |
 |
| ya baza fazer gestos do rock & roll pra não perceberem a paneleiragem que vai aqui |
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| world press photo 2012 |
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| ação precedida de vários avisos de fracasso, fracasso no seguimento |
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| national geographic mating rituals vol. XVI |
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| sniper mode abandonado |
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| alô andromeda, escuto na frequencia 0.1 mHz, tá alguém aí? |
 |
| foda-se que reject mais chato |
 | ||
the definition bell #4 - humor
acto de explorar o diferencial entre a predição causal e a realidade consumada
confusio - a propósito
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a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
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a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
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a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito a propósito
definition #3 - imaturidade
imaturidade
s. f.
Estado de imaturo. Permeabilidade emocional ao gradiente ego vs ambiente.
Subscrever:
Mensagens (Atom)